My sweet Lucy,

I’m so sorry, baby. This is the latest I’ve ever been with your letter. Though so many of my thoughts are connected to you, it’s been nearly impossible for me to make writing a priority. I feel some measure of guilt with each day that passes and I’ve missed writing. I gave up writing for Still Standing, which was hard because it was another thing that made me feel connected to you, something I did because of you. Every time I sat down to work on an article, the words just wouldn’t flow. It’s tough to get a moment to focus on only one thing at a time, and there’s always more to do. Not that I’m complaining, but it takes my focus away from you.

Though I may not demonstrate it as much in the written word these days, I think of you thousands of times a day. You’re part of my daily life and everything I do. I’m a better person, a better Mommy because of you. I wish with all of my heart that you were here with your little brother, being a good big sissy to him. I mourn for all you’ll never experience together as brother and sister, but I swear it’s as if Everett knows you by the way he calms and smiles when I talk to him about you or bring him near to you. It makes my heart ache and smile at the same time. Parenting Everett has opened my eyes to all we’ve missed with you, which is both magical and terribly painful all at once. I wish I were better at juggling the parenting of both of you, but never doubt that you will always be part of my life, and I will honor you with every kind word and action.

I love you and miss you eternally, sweet girl. I feel your light all around me lately honey.

Love Always,

Mommy