My dearest Lucy,
Oh sweet girl, I am so, so sorry that this note is so late. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of wrapping up school, prenatal appointments, gestational diabetes appointments, and I guess just life in general. I know you understand, but as your mommy, I feel I’ve failed you. I didn’t keep up with my monthly letter tradition this time around. It wasn’t because I haven’t been thinking of you… quite the opposite really. Your light finds me in different ways, and you’re always on my mind; I’ve thought of getting to this note countless times.
I’ve tried to start a new tradition of picking fresh flowers for you and putting them in your cabinet next to you, so you can have a little summer too. They’re safe behind the glass doors, away from your naughty cat so he can’t knock them over, as he’d be sure to do! It makes my heart happy to do that tiny little thing for you every few days. I wish I could do more. I know that when your little brother arrives, he’s going to need so much, and I worry that I won’t always get to our little traditions. I will do my best though. As we both know, love knows no boundaries, and no matter what I can actively do for you, as long as I am living, your light lives too, every moment of the day. I will try to go easy on myself with the mommy guilt, because I don’t think you’d want me to get too caught up in that.
As time gets closer to your little brother’s arrival, my heart keeps breaking just a little more because you aren’t here to experience it with us. He’ll never meet his big sister. It makes me so sad, but I’ll do everything I can to make sure he knows that you have a very important place in our family. You are so precious to us, Lucy.
I miss you so very much, I wish you were here, and you’re part of my daily life even when I can’t get to the writing. I love you so much, sweet girl.
Always,
Mommy
