Yesterday was the International Day of Hope. Started by Carly Marie (check out her site here), a fellow loss mom, a prayer flag project takes place through social media all over the world each year on August 19. I really love that this project is modeled after the symbolic Tibetan prayer flags that are said to deliver hope, love, compassion, wisdom, strength, and all kinds of positive concepts into the universe through the wind that flows around them. I think it’s a beautiful notion and I was excited to participate in this for the first time. I ended up finding the perfect materials around the house and in my craft bin, and since I’m pretty handy with a glue gun, it turned out to be a lovely tribute to Lucy, if I do say so myself. I felt a sense of purpose and calm as I created Lucy’s flag. When I placed it in her garden early yesterday, the morning sun illuminated it and a quiet breeze fluttered the ribbons along the bottom. I was soothed and felt connected to her. The flag whispered her name into the wind, along with my feelings of peace, love, and hope. The thought that so many other loss parents were doing the same thing around the world and in their own sacred spaces, honoring their children too, is magical to me. I truly did feel renewed hope, and such immense love.
Today, a renewed appreciation has come over me. This began with a message from a kind woman who found a Lucy Rose’s Light bracelet in a parking lot, looked up the Lucy Rose’s Light Facebook page, and was determined to find the owner of the bracelet. I was taken aback by the heartwarming happiness that washed over me when I read her message, so excited that Lucy’s story was heard by someone who didn’t know us, and likely wouldn’t have had she not found the bracelet. We’ve found the original holder of the bracelet, but before we did, I asked the sweet person who’d found it to please keep it as a reminder of the beautiful light she has within and to take an extra moment to reflect on the good things in her life. I hope I wasn’t too preachy with it, but I just wanted her to have it and to know a little bit about the light our little girl brought to the world during her short stay in it. When I shared this story in order to find out whose bracelet was lost, quite a few people responded, and now I have the privilege of sending out even more bracelets to others who requested them. It’s stuff like this that really makes my heart feel better… being able to share little Lucy with others makes the loss of her a little easier to bear. I am always, always thankful for those opportunities. Mostly because it’s the only way I can actively parent her. Keeping her memory alive is vital to my existence in this new normal.
Thinking back to Lucy’s birthday last week also brings to mind my love for the community that surrounds Chris and me. That ‘community’ is made up of our family, friends, actual members of the community in which we live, the loss community, and so on. Unable to help myself on her birthday and remembrance day, I asked others to share things with us that remind them of Lucy… I was absolutely overcome with gratitude as a result. That little baby has impacted more people and things than I could have imagined. Because of that, she continues to live on in different ways. I have our community of support to thank for that. So much of this past year has been swallowed up by grief and depression; every single day has been a struggle. Without this community of people to help reveal glimpses of Lucy’s impact and love she left behind, I don’t know how we could have made it through this.
Tonight my heart is filled with more warmth and lightness than its felt in quite some time. I see now that hope can indeed float and carry us through the darkest of times. I’m thankful for this day of hope.
A close up of Lucy’s prayer flag.
The perfect addition to Lucy’s Garden on a beautiful summer day.