My sweet Lucy,

You are in my thoughts today as you are every day. You’re three months shy of turning two today; how I wish we could see you grow. I need you to know that you are truly a part of me, part of my days, part of my heart. I get so scared sometimes because I don’t always feel I’m doing enough to honor you. I feel guilty when I don’t always get to our little rituals as often as  I’d like, or if I’m a little late in getting to them, but I just need you to know that you are so important to me and you always will be. I miss you terribly.

I had a flashback the other night of the very last time we were physically together. You in the little pink outfit and sweet bow on your head, heartbreakingly beautiful. My heart screams when I think about how I didn’t pick you up, why didn’t I pick you up? I was worried you were too fragile or that somehow I’d be disturbing you. You were so tiny, and… and you were gone. Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about moments like that because they’re etched into my memory so clearly. But so are the other precious moments we had together, and every other time I’ve felt your presence since then.

There’s no replacement for you, precious baby. You’re my firstborn, my daughter, my perfect little Lucy. I’ll always look for you, and I love you endlessly.

Forever and Always,

Mommy

I love you, sweet girl.