In spite of the fact that so much is going on, it feels like my words have all but dried up lately.  Somehow, the day to day business of life hasn’t really lent itself to articulation through writing.  Oddly enough, I’m mostly okay with this. I thought with this rainbow pregnancy, I’d have so much to say that the words would flow endlessly, but surprisingly, the opposite is true. Don’t get me wrong, the thoughts are there, but the words on paper or type just aren’t. I used to write in my journal almost daily, and here it is, a week into July, and I’ve not written a complete entry in it since around mid-April. I feel guilty, because I had every intention of documenting my way through this pregnancy, but it just hasn’t gone that way. I’m considering also taking a hiatus from Still Standing, though it pains me to consider it. It’s just been hard to come up with the right things to write about, and it’s becoming something I feel I’m failing at. Impossible to imagine that with the arrival of our baby boy, that I will suddenly have time and energy to pour my heart into writing. I don’t know what’s happened; it’s tough to come up with the gumption to do it when the words simply won’t come.

Clearly, nothing profound is going to result from this post, but I can at least share some of what’s been going on:

• My dear friend Aimee came over to help organize in the nursery; it was overwhelming at first, but she helped me move forward with that and left me with the motivation to keep going with it and clear space for baby in other places in the house. The nearly-finished room almost makes the idea of bringing this boy home a tangible one. It almost seems real. I’ve even taken some tags off several items and washed some of them, which is honestly a huge step and leap of faith for me.
• I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes this time around. I felt conflicted initially, but it’s become just another one of those day to day things I’ve incorporated into my routine. It’s temporary. And, I know all too well that this is least of what could go wrong. So, I’ve accepted it with a smile.
• Baby Boy has been consistently kicking, which has quelled some of the anxiety of how he’s doing on the daily. We’ve also gotten good reports with each appointment, and have the reassurance of many more appointments from here on out. I’m so thankful for the extra support and compassion from our doctors.
• Our purple cone flowers are absolutely bursting right now, so I’ve been picking fresh ones every few days for Lucy and putting them in her cabinet with her… it feels good to do that for her, though it’s such a small thing. Just something her and I share, I suppose.

Mostly, I’m just taking one day at a time, trying to keep my optimism at the front of my mind and doing what I can to take care of myself and this growing baby.