My sweet Lucy,

It’s been nineteen months now without you, precious girl, but I want you to know that no matter how much time separates us, you are always part of us. No matter how our family changes, you are so loved, and you hold a very important place in our hearts.

I miss you terribly today.

We’ve announced your little brother to the world, and know that you had a very important hand in finding him. In December, I asked you if you wanted to be a big sister and for your blessing. Lo and behold, we found out a few weeks later that you are indeed going  to be a big sister! I don’t think that’s a coincidence, and I know in my heart that you’re happy about all of this. I just wish so, so much that you could be here with us for all of this. Now when I see a family with an older girl and younger boy, my heart feels a new longing and sorrow. I’ve said all along how unfair it is that you’re not here with us, and now there are new reasons for that to hurt more. But no matter what, your Daddy and I know how lucky we are to have your little brother on the way, and you in our hearts. I know you’ll watch over him as you do us. I just wish I could have both of you in my arms.

I have been seeing so many things over the past few days that remind me of you, and have been finding your little signs here and there. I always notice them, and I’ll always treasure them. Like I’ve said, you’re part of me, and always on my mind, sweet baby. Though I miss you like crazy, I feel you close. I love you so much Lucy.

Love always and forever,

Mommy