My dear Lucy,

You’ve come up in many different interactions today, sweet girl. Several people have spoken your name aloud to me, not because it’s a milestone day, but just coincidentally. It’s made my heart feel warm just to hear your precious name, knowing that others think of you as I do. I’ve been thinking about you a lot today, not that you’re ever far from my thoughts, but I keep wondering about you. I wonder what you’d be like now, how long your hair might have grown, what your favorite foods would have been, how fast you’d be zooming all over the house, your favorite way to be tucked in for the night. I wonder about it all, just missing you with all I am. I wish you were here. I wish you could touch my belly as your brother grows, learning about what it is to be a big sister… I wonder if your little brother would even be here at all if you had stayed. It’s hard to think about.  Mostly, I just wish I could have both of you earth side. I wish I could really articulate all I need to say, but this will have to be enough for now.

There isn’t a day that passes that you’re not part of in some way. It’s hard to believe it’s been twenty months… nearly two years since you were last with us. Somehow the time has crawled, yet flown by swiftly.  I still can’t believe sometimes that you’re not here. I can’t believe you and your brother will never physically meet.  But, I CAN believe how much I miss and love you more each day. You’ll always be my precious girl. I love you so much, Lucy.

Always and Forever,

Mommy